I knew you were watching me. From the very beginning. I was irked at having your warm gaze all over me, like a hot sun on a full blast on a summer day. Whenever you are around, it makes me feel like my sacred loneliness is violated. It feels like all of my breath is taken away and my heart is pumping mad, angry and overwhelmed at the same time.
You were like a dog following me around. I hated that. And much more, I hated the way you looked at me, as if you were looking at my very soul. As if I didn’t have any flesh or bones to hide my heart with. Your big, round eyes can see everything. I want to hide whenever you’re around. But the strange thing is, I want you around.
I wanted you around.
It was a strange feeling, hating and loving at the same time. I never knew you. All I knew was you’re a strange girl carrying a strange camera, taking pictures of all the nonsense thing this wreck has left us about. You were frail, weak, clumsy, and unintelligent. You were foolish. You were naive. And whenever you smile,
Damn, that smile.
The feeling like the moon peering through a dark, black night. That smile. To me, you are moon. You are a light, a gentle kind. Unlike the sun, you don’t want everyone to succumb to your radiance. You are a piece of calming light to show the way within the shadows. That’s what you are; a little coin dazzling in the night sky, watching over everything with silence.
You were frolicking in the dark, beaming with that smile, having no cares. And that’s when I noticed.