If this was me a few years ago, I would have wondered if God really wanted to bless me. Because, in all honesty, putting that treasure trove over a thin wire in the middle of the valley is something intimidating. I would have passed. I would have turned my back on it forever.
But the thing is, I’m not me few years ago. And while I don’t completely understand (and I don’t need to, so please don’t try to analyze), I know what God wants me to do is to move forward. To go and try to catch it. The truth is, getting that blessing doesn’t depend on me. He has already planned what to give me from the very beginning. I guess it’s a test of character, the molding of my heart, whenever I take a step forward and try to grab something shiny in the middle of an unknown. The real blessing is the transformation in me.
My Shift 2015 is still on a roll, and it’s a different thing from what I first predicted. But I’m happy looking back at the chapters God has written. He’s got such a good plan and every time He reveals something, my heart just wants to leap out of my chest. So much assurance. So much grace. So much love.
In return, I want to be braver. Stronger. Less of a child, more of a woman.
Recently, it’s all about circumstances and decisions for me. I don’t know why I can clearly see the roads of possibilities, the yes and no, and what I really want. Most of the times, I go with what I really want. Compared to the girl who always sneaks back into her cave when things go rough, this is quite a change!
It’s like my heart is pumped up for an adventure. For wandering, getting lost, and getting found again. For seeing the bigger world. Bigger possibilities.
Just like what I’ve written on my work board, “To see the world holding Jesus’ hand.”
I’m excited. I’m sad leaving so many things along with this outer shell, but my soul’s getting bigger and so I must grow. This year is my Exodus, when the gates of my bondage close with me running in the middle of a spliced ocean, barefoot. Former attachments, regrets and self comes loose.
A new kind of heartbeat rings inside my body. I’m excited to be introduced to this new me.