Three words: I did it. Another three words: it is finished.
The first draft is finished and I couldn’t be happier! Just last night, after typing what-seems-to-be the final dot, I had a few doubts. Is this it? This is the ending? To be honest, the last shot was really satisfying and I had a naughty grin on my face (for those who will be reading it). I had such fun! Audrey is amazing.
SHUCKS KINIKILIG AKO.
This is it! The final dot!
— Caris Cruz (@hellocaris) February 20, 2016
Of course, what comes up right next is the first pass, especially now that I haven’t done the perfect opening one-liner yet. But having finished the story gives me the idea of each character’s position, what they should feel, and the potential Easter eggs I’d be scattering all throughout the plot. I CANNOT STOP FAWNING OVER THIS. It was just too surreal!
With the characters’ change, the original idea for a book 2 was completely demolished, as everything was wrapped up and tied with a ribbon in my novice work. I haven’t counted the words but I am sure to reach the novel limit, because this is what I am aiming for, and everything, up to this point, was going well.
February, you are also an amazing month for me. Less rocking-crazy than January, but you allowed me to use my capabilities in full, and I am truly thankful. I am now looking forward to March, where one of my write-ups will be released in a new Asian design-and-art conscious magazine, and potentially, an illustrated accompaniment to a friend’s work.
But, I’m still keeping my hopes at low. Ground level. No expectations. I just need to do my best each day.
Yesternight, during my devo time, a little truth struck me. You see, I’ve been praying all throughout 2015 to be a light, in whatever means, and it was only now that I realized how it happens.
You choose the kind of light you shine on
Annie Stoll finding my blog and asking me to write poems for 1001 Knights was a lovely blessing, but it doesn’t just happen. I had to write a few of my words before she stumbles into my little space. The artist friends I have won’t share the shame joys with me if I hadn’t put my doodling skills on display. Being a light is somehow, investing on yourself, putting time in your craft, and getting it out there. It doesn’t happen magically, like a Sailor Moon thing.
Being a light is intentional.
Because being a light is a wanting to be seen. You need to glow. Stars diffuse gas and radiate in the night sky. You just don’t do red or blue or white; you just have to radiate with the kind of light you have. Whether it’s about words or arts or music or skills, you need to have it out. You need to tell everyone you exist. You need to let them see what you can do.
I missed these Eureka! moments and I’m glad they come right when I needed them, because frankly, I’ve chosen to step out of human society for a while (I have a love/hate thing with too much company) but there are some low points I miss having my favorite people around. But whenever I am reminded of my work, passion surges back. I feel that the timing is just so apt for me to put this novel on trial, because, even though I do hope it gets published BUT I don’t want to expect (with big companies), I just want to share this little love for this plot and have some folks squeal and fawn over the characters with me. Because, really, they’re awesome.
Looking forward to the time they’re polished and published, where I could share password-safe links to my beloved handpicked audience and help me out on proofreading and editing this work. Just as mentioned, this is my novice work (which took EFFING YEARS TO FINALLY HAVE ALL IN PRINT), but I am glad it finally got through.
It finally got through.