This is stating the fact: I am always personal when it comes to blogging. It is the truest, most honest means I can speak about life and all the strings attached to it, and I’m ready to drop a bomb or two when called for. To tell you frankly, I did not make this blog as a regular, read-and-follow-my-exciting-purchases-and-adventures because that’s the standard. I’m among the stupid ones. I’m among those who write in their blogs solely as a vent-out of the cramped words and crushed thoughts. This is my chimney. Yes, you’re reading my chimney.

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Hey, but it’s not too bad, right? Because, dear stranger, we don’t each other, and I don’t even know how you got here, but let me tell you this: we’re made of the same thing. Stardust. The breath of God. The kind of stuff that makes suns burn and stars linger for a million lightyears. Okay, so we don’t get to live that long, but I tell you, we’re a wonderful specie. Extraordinary.

Wait a second; I got lost there.

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No, there’s none to ramble about the book I’m trying to make, because I haven’t tried at all this month. April was my get-your-ass-off-daydreaming-and-work-for-the-money. Pardon me, I am a writer, but also a human being in need of a good future. There are times I look at myself and so far, I don’t see one. Only the present. And don’t Kung-Fu Panda-nize me by saying “Today’s a gift,” because I have long procrastinated enough. I think I have procrastinated about 3 decades of my entire existence.

But if there’s any ray of light I found, it’s rediscovering my characters. Before, I was focused on retaining their original core—a crazy, funny, sly hero who turns things around for his benefit, and a shy, introvertish, anti-social girl whose live changes. Very basic. Very stereotype-ish. However, this journey led me into delving deeper; no, they’re not one-faceted human beings. They’ve got different emotions. They could be giving, and selfish, brave, and afraid. We are made up of many things, and we can’t have three or four adjectives describe us on a whole. And so, I started exploring the undiscovered parts of them, I loved what I saw. Geez, I am talking about my writer’s journey again.

I think it’s much better to get those thoughts on print, right? Wait for May.

I’m giving myself a long time to finish this project, and I want to take all the days and nights I’ll need to come up with a solid little story that is finally, the materialization of my ten-year, unwritten plot. I hope you enjoy this. I’ll do my best to make it fun!

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This time, last year, I was spewing curses. I remember Wyna telling me how she read my blog (and found some very useful files there). Being found out is a rather exciting feeling—I’m actually curious at what they thing about my not-so-tame writing tongue. Well, add to that, I was very angry at life at that point. 2015 SUCKS BIG TIME. Not to be ungrateful, but there were a lot of nice things that happened last year. I just don’t know what big blob of darkness came and ate the good things up. I just have that general perception that 2015 sucked for me. On the brighter side, if I have survived 2015, I can survive anything.

Most of my stuffs were tagged so-and-so, because I was half-angry, half-happy, half-mourning and half-thankful. I was a mess. Just like these excerpts:

Here I am in my sarcastic-toned native tongue.

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And oops, I left a clue.

And here I am changing my mind about the sad stuff.

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And here I am talking about the ‘Shift’ turning into ‘Shit’.

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This year’s April is a thousand times better than the last. Actually, even with 4 months in, 2016 is a million times better than 2015. And I am thankful for everything that happened so far. Even at the beginning of the year, I got new experiences, met new friends, made new goals and aspired new dreams. I had to say goodbye to a bit of my past, but that’s alright; I shouldn’t be lugging around suitcases that won’t matter. Besides, I am emptying my hands for new things to come. Whoever I’ve become, how far I’ve gone, I am certain this isn’t square one. This isn’t ground zero. I’m moving forward.

Besides, as 高橋優 sang,  「明日はきっといい日になる」。

きっと。だから、あきらめないぞ!まっすぐに歩く。夢に集めて。

No matter how bad your months go, there will always be worse, but we humans are created to live it day by day. And day by day is enough.