I have promised to write a July wrap-up post, so here it is. Yesterday wasn’t a good day. Halfway through publishing my Weeks in Tweets post, my browser crashed a number of times till I lost my gusto. Such a downer. So, today, after staying wide awake at 3 in the morning when my cousin called and my parents rushed in the hospital to be at their side, I promised myself to let out a mouthful. July wasn’t anything remarkable, for me, at least, but it wasn’t a no-nothing month.
Let me check my diary.
First of all, my computer is on the verge of breaking down. Less than three years since I bought it and now, I’m reaping the harmful effects of the toxic, debilitating specimen that is Windows 10. I’m looking at you, Microsoft guys. Get your guts together and fix this OS. Or else, we’ll all be jumping to the Apple ship. Which is a very costly ship.
I stopped writing my manuscript for a while. One reason, see above. Second, I’ve been too busy earning and saving money for my insurance and third: so many new plot ideas. It came pouring; not just a chapter fix, but probably, a whole new rewrite. And yes, this is the same person who told herself that she won’t redo the entire thing until she finishes one run. She wasn’t able to.
The good news is, I’m back to drawing. It has always been confusing–the fact that either writing, or doodling, is my first love. I must say I have this unpeeled romance with words. But right now, I’m getting back to a drawing zeal, which actually led me to illustrating some of the characters. And seeing them in 2D human form actually inspired me to progress.
My uncle, husband of my mom’s sister, was rushed to the hospital this last week of July. It was a painful, traumatic slap. For the first time, we’ve been seeing things we’ve never seen before. Perhaps because primarily, we didn’t pay attention to it. It was hidden under the blankets or stored in the attic. And the monsters and cobwebs start appearing after one curious peek.
With this, let me commend my mom. If there was anyone from this family whom I probably gotten my large dose of empathy from, it’s from her. There’s no doubt. She gives herself like she won’t run out. Like a mother hen, she’s the one trying to solve the problems, giving more of her time, sharing more of herself, to a small family about to be emptied in all humanly facets. When the phone rings at an unearthly hour, she is there to answer it. She is ready to wake my dad in the gentlest manner so he could come with her to the hospital. So she can console her kin. Today, a Sunday, was one of those days when Maan rings in past 3AM, telling mom that her dad was out of his wits and wants to leave his hospital room. There was no second thought. No passive decision. The car starts and my parents were off, leaving me wide-eye, awake, watching Project Runway All-Stars in the wee hour of the day.
This, I might add, made the family’s Sunday very trying. Mom wasn’t able to come to church with us, for she decided to be by her sister’s side in this moment of crisis. Dad cannot abandon his pastoral duties and I, well, I am the organist and also, the Sunday School teacher.
Ah, I am such a moping kid when I shouldn’t be. After all, I slept the whole afternoon, ate some pizza, and is smiling at the monitor because Harper seems to be working a bit better than the usual. So before I thoroughly say goodbye to July, I guess it’s right to look at many of its bright sides. It might not be as remarkable as the earlier months of this year, but it’s lit in its own sort of way!
My July in a Nutshell:
- Lots of work opportunities, including writing copies for a brand new photography site in Australia, and a fun poetry for kids through an educational system in Singapore
- My old fan died on me and dad bought me a new one. When I asked him how much was it, he said that he’s going to deduct it from my inheritance
- I finally had time to do my laundry but got terribly sick after the errand. Conclusion? Do more of these chores.
- The mushroom house was finished and our interior wall are yellow
- Plans for Caris Creates ensue
- Losing my zeal for my ministry, thanks to many obstacles, but I have no doubt I will keep on because this is the path I am to walk as of now. I’m sad to say this, but my love for this side of humanity is starting to fade. I don’t want to blame it on the things they lack or on the things I want to have. I guess this is just a momentary glitch I have to endure until it is over.
If there’s something I should be thankful for, it’s when God reminds me of His love on a daily. That’s what keeps me going. You see, my life is all walls; walls I’ve built, walls I am now trying to crush down with my bare hands after decades of hiding in it. When it’s about time for me to see the light of the world in my own vision, that’s when another hurdle comes into view. But I’m going to make it. The things I prayed for were already done. I just have to cross that line, make that jump, and do something crazy. After all, I have been living under the umbrella of God’s favor all my years.And I would never peel myself away from it.