Things are not okay. That’s what I needed to know.  It’s going to be tough and terrible and trying, but I have to make up my mind, before anything else, to keep at it. To not back down, no matter what. To earn the kind of skin that’s still raw and fleshy, but hard and muscly and strong too. After all, it’s not about the happy endings anymore. It’s how you face every rumble and rubble in your journey.

I think I’m going to do just fine.

A handful of things that made me happy this week:

  • 1001 Knights! Me, and the rest of the contributors, finally received our most-awaited emails: the soft copy of the books, as well as the houses we were sorted in. I’m in Team Courage! Also, I’ve got two of my poems included in the book, and it was just amazing to see my name at the back, among the many amazing people who drew / wrote / imagined / dreamed this book to life. So much honor.
  • ONE OK ROCK released Ambitions, and after too much whining and complaining about the changes and possibly un-OOR-ness of the yellow colored album, I gave in. And it wrecked me. We Are didn’t make too much of an impression UNTIL I watched the 18 Fes, a behind-the-scenes documentary of 1000 soon-to-be 18 year olds joining ONE OK ROCK for their one-time, one-song performance. It was so lit I was still thinking about it for the entire week. Also, Ambitions was not that bad. Actually, it was not bad. Not. At. All.
  • Mei of Akizora kept bombarding me with OOR-related deets, and really, I’m glad to see these stuff that I would otherwise wouldn’t be aware of.
  • I had an unconscious change of my Tumblr URL, which was different from the one I listed on my 1001 Knights profile. Good thing Annie had a last-minute edit, and I, along those with needed changes, were able to tell her our quick fixes. And since people *might* be going to my Tumblr, I don’t want them to find nothing there, so I revived my journal and turned it into Letters to the Most Unlikely. I’ve got a few posts queued; please read it when you can! This change also meant erasing 4000 posts from way back 2010. I had to delete a few precious memory, but hey, I’m creating new ones, and that’s always good!
  • One thing that made me feel bad this week was getting my Annual Tax submitted online. The worst would be me going back to the office and file it before the long queues, but after asking my dad how it works, I finally managed to send mine through the government’s app and yeeeesh. Here’s a sigh of relief. Another thing I’m thankful for: it’s not as costly as I thought it would be.
  • I got my stuff this week and guess what? I made another purchase. Sorry. This is stress shopping. Or should we say some prep for a trip? 😉
  • The story guide for Saltfolk is done, and I’m ready to dive into another writing season. Which is just lovely, because I’ve got new jams to inspire me.

Some unexpected thing came today and I fear I’d be feeling bad in the coming days. But it’s nothing I can’t handle. After all, things are not supposed to be okay. But I am.

x, C 💋