Frankly, I am not so sure if there is anything to close this week. I, after all, has left one open. A chapter which was not supposed to be but was because it was what sounded so appropriate at the moment. And on Chapter 6, I wrote a fun but terribly cliche scene that made me feel half-proud (because it was not there in the original plot but it looked good so I went with it) and half-embarrassed (because, cliche). It’s still there. It’s the editor’s job to tell me if it’s cheesy or not at all, and I’m still a long way off from editing. Please raise your hand if you’re an editor who 1.) is patient and 2.) can survive runny sentences with weird adjectives and incoherent metaphors. I’d love to work with you. Wait, that’s not the right way to advertise a project, right?

Today, I commuted my way back home. It was fun. Maybe because it was rare? Rare things are fun. And I sat there in the middle of two vendors who were on their way to sleep and then realized they knew each other when it was time for me to go. A grandmother fainted right at the foot of the jeepney, and I was thankful that a concerned family stayed with her until she got into the sidewalk where there is shade. I hope she is alright. By the footbridge, a mother with her son just asked me if I can lend her P18 so they’d have enough fare back to Caloocan. When I started climbing the stairs, I still saw them down there and I knew in my heart I’ve been scammed.

I decided to buy some groceries with the money left in my debit card. In the mall, there was a Korean Idol themed contest and I walked really, really fast when they played KARD’s Oh Na Na. My money was enough to get me this week’s stock. God provides.

Earlier, Trixie came to Sunday School with a new haircut. Mae-mae kept bother Ram during class. Today’s lesson was all about Patience and I think the kids used a lot of it. I don’t know if her parents knew Mae-mae’s condition. I do hope so, but it doesn’t show that they do.

The kids sang nicely and we had a nice sit-down after-session with two older girls. Rona, to me, looked very bright but with little confidence. Abbie, who is continuing her depression medication, kept asking me things she had already asked me before. Mga 10 times. And I gave her the same answer. I think she just wanted to ask and say a lot of things but she doesn’t give herself enough time to process the right questions so she blurts it out of nowhere?

Recently, I’ve been becoming less patient, less motherly, more brash, more outspoken. It surprises me and scares me at the same time. On one hand, I’ve definitely matured. I know what needs to be done and I do it without fail. On the other hand, I tremble to think that I intimidate other people (kids and youth especially). I hope I reach them, though. Change is constant, and this one is welcome. I just hope I don’t run out of love for them, even if I run out of patience.

(Just to let you know, I confront my naughty munchkins in the fondest, most kalog way ever. They get singled out, alright, but I still want to give them a feeling that I’m pleasant to be with, and they could come back and join the class the next time. Because if there’s anything I want most, it’s to be friend with kids, like a true blue Mrs. Bhaer from Little Women, which is probably what I’m going to end up in the near future. I hope Mr. Bhaer comes soon though.)