I started counting the stars
when I mentioned your name, a trigger
for a large hole of emptiness inside my chest.

I am a big bang, imploding, shadows casting in the room
where you used to be. A nightmare
I wake up to every morning

Sometimes, my eyes flicker at the little dots that form
images of you where you aren’t, I crane my hands
to the wind. Intangible memories.

And deep inside I am broken and sullen and
all the dark things you can ever think of and I
still haven’t finished counting