I started counting the stars

when I mentioned your name, a trigger

for a large hole of emptiness inside my chest.


I am a big bang, imploding, shadows casting in the room

where you used to be. A nightmare

I wake up to every morning


Sometimes, my eyes flicker at the little dots that form

images of you where you aren’t, I crane my hands

to the wind. Intangible memories.


And deep inside I am broken and sullen and

all the dark things you can ever think of and I

still haven’t finished counting