This has been a good week. I had my bills paid, watched a movie, got sick, confirmed that my poem will be part of a rad 2018 Planner, submitted a query, and worked. Work, by the way, was a blessing. I don’t know how I’d align my brain back to normal after writing and revising those 80,000 + words since 2016. I kind of missed it, though.

Writing Saltfolk, in so many ways, have changed me. It was the first time I actually enjoyed writing in the middle of the night with punk rock songs blasting from my laptop. YES, WHEN EVERYONE ELSE WAS SLEEPING. Now, I feel like I’m floating in a void. I tried to write; there’s this spunky little story I had in mind, but upon hearing some bad news at the beginning of the week, I decided not to write it. Yet. Or maybe never at all.

Here is what happened.

Monday

I looked again and I realized I was CC’d, which means I’m not the primary recipient, but heck, it’s all good even if they just show a little stanza. I do wish that one day, my writing would be front and center? I mean, it’s normal, right? Every writers dream about that.

Obviously, grateful. Because there will be so much more blessings coming my way.

ETO LANG:

This is the part when I heard the news about J. I haven’t confirmed it yet, but my prayers go out to her.

Tuesday

I’m not actually proud to say this is my first time to watch a Filipino movie after the longest time but THIS IS MY FIRST TIME TO WATCH A FILIPINO MOVIE AFTER THE LONGEST TIME!

Wednesday

Note to self: Never drink a large, day-old, fastfood iced tea along with junk food when you’re wearing shorts in a cold theater and you haven’t eaten lunch.

Needless to say, I was in bed all day.

Thursday

I think I had three Stranger Dreams this week and this one was just telling?

Night time. I was listening to ELLEGARDEN and this gave me back the feels.

Friday

In 2018, I have to prepare my finances for a new laptop. This one seems to be holding it out for me.

Okay. So here’s where my current anxiety originated. A lovely writer with a lovely story just announced her book debut and it sounded just like Saltfolk / Fifth the First. I know for a fact that stories tend to be similar; none are remarkably unique, but somehow this one stings with fear. Maybe because of comparison. Maybe because that mine would never make it out there. I don’t exactly know, but I think God put me in place here.

But then, I remember WHY I wrote it, so I think all is good.

Which is why I’m still here, in the writer’s waiting line, hoping and anticipating for God’s perfect timing for me.