Please don’t make me expound. This post exists and I’m going to have my much-needed closure because who doesn’t? Bless you.

Today, a Monday, I started the week right by writing what I like, which means revising my manuscript for the umpteenth time because WRITERS DO THAT, FOLKS. Even though I’ve somehow lost my emotions between the paragraphs (I mean, it’s supposed to be exciting, but you can’t always feel the thrill / sorrow after reading the same thing for thirty-something time, right?), and had TWO — hear that, two — title changes for the first quarter of the year, my manuscript has been progressing well. New eyes help. New eyes make me see things I didn’t, especially those over-bloated thoughts I managed to sneak in the first chapters. Speaking of chapters, I had a plan of naming them with song titles + band names (which of course, I made up, because copyright), but that’s after I finish my revision. This week might be the week.

Or not.

Okay, I wrote those chunk of words so it wouldn’t appear in the preview that this previous week’s biggest trial was Chiba, my dog, who bit a neighbor. That’s right, people. My dog’s innocent teeth dug into the flesh of a hooman bean. No, kidding. It wasn’t a deep wound, just a light cut, because 1.) Chiba’s cord broke just before Aling Nita stepped outside the gate, 2.) The gate was open, and doggy wanted to get out ever since he was born and 3.) Aling Nita showed signs of fear which had her screaming and shouting and of course, doggy got excited.

First of all, I hated what happened. I hated that someone got hurt. I hated that they’d look at Chiba as a monster. I hated that my mom was stressed out the entire day, then get a whopping double the amount of stress that night when she had to come with Aling Nita to the doctor. I added to that stress. I was being selfish. But when mama got home, tired and beat, there was a smile on her face. Miracles still happen. And Chiba wasn’t regarded as a bad doggy. Only an irritated canine who needed some relief from the heat.

I have to tell you that Chiba is a happy dog until today and still sits down when I ask him to.

Now, the lessons

Aling Nita’s anti-rabies shots — hear that: shots — is made up of at least 4 sessions. 4 1,850 worth of sessions. Now, that’s a hole in the pocket, not to mention the stress of going with her to the clinic. If I could have it my way, I’d just give her the money for her recovery and have her go by yourself. But that’s not the way God’s love work.

Last night, I realized this: every conflict, every pain, was an opportunity for us to look after each other. No, we don’t like them, but they’re doors. They’re wall-breakers. They’re a pathway where we could walk together and show our neighbor, in this situation a very literal take on that, God’s love. And this was the lesson.

Today, Aling Nita took her second shot. They waited more than two hours in the provincial hospital; that’s a pretty darn waste of time, but look: mom and her managed to tell stories about themselves. Testimonies uttered. Love grew bigger. And yes, going to a private clinic must be more expensive, but it will cost them less time + show that people are worth it.

I hope, that when I am thrown in the middle of conflict, I’ll find the grace to use this opportunity to show God’s love

Not really a Closing, but I started querying again today. YES! Why not! Yesterday, I was this itty-bitty close to sending a local publication about the major overhaul I did with my manuscript (GUYS, THERE ARE PUNS. THEY ARE FUNNY), but then I decided not to. I will wait on it. I will trust God that whatever happens is what’s supposed to be. I need to respect my words two months ago. I need to believe there’s magic in them.

So, tomorrow, I’m back to work, back to hustling for the much-needed moolah and hopefully, a chance to enroll at the driving school I’m eyeing on. My poem is included in the Issue #2 of Not Very Quiet, which is a name I love (and could have used as a novel title, snap it). I’ve been on a poetry-sending obsession last February, because what am I gonna do with those verses? But lately, God has been reminding me not to chase the things that are temporary.

I’m choosing the permanent. I’m choosing what really matters. x