I can only tell you that July ends on a Tuesday, and Tuesdays are not the best days to end something that has only begun. By beginning, I meant the other half of 2018, and to be honest, this month is the wettest part of the half, thanks to high tide surges and a triplet of storms visiting us in a week. I never thought cars would become boats, but that’s what cars, especially ours, have been in the recent weeks. Imagine plowing through a waist-high flood in the middle of the day? Not good.

Work has been lovely and consistent, except for a few hiccups, and a bunch of former beloved clients contacting me for another spell, although I sadly had to decline. We watched Ant-Man 2. I have a couple of swimming stuff in my closet, ready to be taken out, and after an obsessive hunt for a weekender, I realized I already had one in fringe and leather, and there’s no reason to shell out money, because it’s nearly the season when I have to save.

My bills were paid, my Manuscript Number 2 drafted, a large spider visited my room and crawled on my arm before it settled on the wall and got slayed by my brother. I finished my obligations to a company I really love, which I am close to saying goodbye, and I had news about my contribution in a magazine which will be out this August. I said goodbye to Caris Creates Things in my socials and finally cemented Hello Caris, the Blog. And if you don’t notice it, my homepage has a new look. Go check it out! But that’s after reading this post.

In a nutshell, here’s what I managed to achieve this July:

  • I wrote H&S Chapter 34 when my manuscript is already 84,000 words long
  • Queried for this version, because every version should have been queried
  • Bought our September flights to Palawan which means SEE YOU, SEA
  • Taught a kid exactly 4 piano chords and watched him play it repeatedly because MUSIC
  • Experienced staying indoors for 2 weeks because outside our gate was a complete water world
  • Revised my MS, queried again, there’s now 200+ names in my list
  • Wrote a short story from a quick daydream about a girl and something horrifying in her cabinet
  • Had a surprising request for 50 pages from a lovely agent whose name I misspelled

July was also the month where I had a lot of strange dreams. Here’s a thread:

And so, as this month closes, where there’s only half-a-breath of it to be lived, while I turn things inside my head and wonder why the world flung itself straight down the pit, why sin entered out gates, why people can be too complacent, and other deep unanswerable questions, I keep holding the only things I had in my hands: words. I have always declared myself a Habakkuk girl: a person standing on the watchtower, faithfully waiting for redemption, scribbling down those visions. It was this month when I finally got to re-read my life verse again and realize I may have gotten things upside down. But upside-down things can be corrected. Upside-down things can be put back in place.

This August, I’ll peer my eyes closer, act braver, and strike sooner. Waiting doesn’t mean staying frozen. Waiting is moving in faith. Shoulder on, soldier. Shoulder on. x