I’m back! Or am I? Is this just a fleeting illusion where I imagine myself using my blog’s still-confusing, block-utilizing editor? Is this a fake mirage where I finally got the time to sit down and ramble about nothing? Not for work, not for passion, just a complete vent-out of my emotional farts (excuse me) for the world to see? Why am I asking these stupid questions? Why am I–
That’s not going anywhere, isn’t it?
So, I’m BAAAACK! And it’s Saturday! You know what Saturdays mean? NOTHING. Because I write, every single day, and it’s like a disease I don’t get a rest from. But, at least, everyone’s resting, it’s not as pressure-inducing as weekdays and I have an excuse to take things leisurely (“It’s a weekend, can’t you be more forgiving?”). Right? Riiight?
If there’s something you’d notice about this blog, it’s probably the voice. You know, the way I sounded like with the written word. I don’t really have a signature, spot-on voice (wait, maybe I do, and it’s heck boring), but I’m currently writing a rompy-themed story which is why I sounded like someone who just glugged on three bottles of Red Bull (I haven’t). I still don’t have any ~EXCITING~ news to announce, but I’m dropping by this blog just in case it has been lonely, and needed some freshening up. I’m trying not to be a bad, very distracted blog owner.
So, tweets! let me share a really scary one:
I dreamt that a lady in the jeep turned into a manananggal and bit someone's head off— Caris (@hellocaris) June 10, 2019
then she flew back and ate my hand
then I jumped into the street and was shielded by a small seed
then an entire mall was swarming with them I CANNOT
I’ve stopped putting things in the Stranger Dreams thread because if there’s one thing I’ve realized, I just post random, not-that-weird dreams just for the sake of the number. I hated that. Why am I pressuring myself to achieve a hundred? It’s all about the dreams! And there’s a timestamp to tell people when it happened, so….
LOOK ANOTHER STRANGE DREAM
Oy last night I had another weird dream that I was back in art class, asked teachers about a student, wrongly answered their question and got an earth-clad two-part Gundam toy from a CNB member because I'm popular (made that one up ho ho ho)— Caris (@hellocaris) June 11, 2019
I’ll tell you this: some things really do come when you’re not looking for them. Ganoon sila. Gusto yung iniisnab.
I watched a CNN Documentary about a local brass band, and that’s where this dream started:
Sobrang hanga ako sa mga nag-mu-musiko, sana makasulat ako ng istoryang bida sila 😊— Caris (@hellocaris) June 11, 2019
Browsing my week’s tweets, I found out I didn’t post anything, uh, significant. Or poignant. Which is so me! I’m sorry if you expected anything. It’s best to keep it at 0% when visiting this blog.
Some non-work related things this week: Final Fantasy VII (Tifa’s the bomb but where is Vincent Valentine), Tauren Wells’ Hills and Valleys, RP612fic, Independence Day, musiko, fiesta, Guia, a strawberry-jam filled chocolate bar but I forgot its name, Incredibles 2, square sweetheart necklines AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST dozens of duhat falling on our roof (because they’re too far up for us to harvest them).
Yesterday was the start of the rainy season, which means one thing: FLOODS. I just pray that this year, it won’t be as bad as the past two years because that was pure weather evil. I don’t want to think of cars and people plowing through a knee-deep flood every other week just because shitty higher ups chose to stack cement slabs on streets to keep water off the main highway. That’s plain stupid. And I’m also furious. Everyone in this house is working to save / find means to fund money for a future house out of this subdivision, but I am aware of this: God has blessed us here, so when He tells us to go, we’ll go. So far, none of that message yet.
I don’t know if I remember this aphorism correctly, but it’s sounds like this, “When you’re planting, bend your knees.” It means that when your toiling and struggling for something, be humble. Fold your back. Shove your ego far away where it can’t reach you. I guess I’m at that point now: planting, a back-breaking, heart-humbling labor (which isn’t as hard as compared to others, but really, really pride-killing, just the same). It’s the sweet, mellow feeling of waiting and working with God, trusting He’s doing something nice in the background. Like walking in a dark, seemingly-endless tunnel, I’m getting nowhere, but I’d keep walking, knowing that the path leads somewhere, and that part is the adventure.
I hope you walk your tunnels with the same optimism. It’s going to end somewhere. You’ll be walking inside more, but at that point, you’ve learned things and grew a better heart. x