Excuse me, I’ve caught the I Can Only Write One Thing disease. Believe me, it’s bad. The worse. Like trying to squeeze things out of your head but your entire skull is like a dam that won’t open. And as of this moment, I’m wrestling with my innards in trying to get this post out there because, as a blog owner, I have been lazy. No one should be lazy. Most especially, not in blogging.
As a recap, nothing’s working, thank you very much. May has been that tough month who nearly knocked me out, but June sort of helped me out hoisted me up. June was kind. June was a friend.
Which is why I feel sad saying goodbye to it.
A lot of things changed about work, my work, freelance work, which is never easy. At some point, I had to squirm in a corner and mope at how the world is just too cruel to small creatives like me. But, looking at things again gave me new perspectives. It’s not that bad pala. I mean, it’s bad, but not deadly bad. I can make do with this. I can push forward. I’m not going to lose a leg.
It’s really strange when you’re at the season of existing at the edge of your resources. I mean, I’ve saved up for the rainy days, but I didn’t imagine it was this rainy. Not literal rainy. That part is coming up in the next coming months.
So, right now, I’m praying that God opens doors for me because the One I’m Knocking On was decidedly closed. Maybe one day, maaawa din siya. But, as for now, I have to look somewhere else.
Some things to rejoice (because I have them, excuse you)
I watched Noli! I promised to make a proper post about it, but it’s not happening now, not until I have accepted some things are just completely blocked. I hope I still remember the feels because seeing Miko there is such a precious, precious moment! SO PROUD.
We’ve started a cell group! This month! And we’re three weeks in! I really don’t want to write this down because I’m scared that I might jinx it, but from the very beginning, I told myself I’m going to take what they give me, whoever is there. Sobrang nagpapasalamat ako kay God because they are teaching me too. Teaching me na hindi magmadali umuwi because there’s a lot more to SIUMC after service. To hear them opening up (especially the core group, hu hu I get you kasi I’ve been there?) was the most gratifying thing I’ve had the pleasure of having these past few days. Sa totoo lang, wala akong anak but willing akong ampunin sila for as long as we are here.
I learned a lot about them, that there’s more to what they usually show me, and all of them are dear darling girls (some of them tougher than their very feminine surface?). When I’m surrounded by kids (big and old), umaarangkada talaga yung pagiging Jo March ko.
What else? Ah. Two of our cats gave birth to their tiny kittens. My dad doesn’t have bad cough anymore. Bills are going to be paid. I don’t remember much, but I’m pretty sure this month gazed at me with kind eyes and chose to not harass me.
Oh, I also ruined my white sneaks.
Victories: Guia. Noli. Everything was enough. Found my new favorite chocolate. Did not shop! Hills and Valleys. Fruits Basket. Butter coconut.
Challenges: Getting through this because my mom just said, “I’m getting old.” Probably my longest challenge until I get that check.
Currently on: Zechariah, which is also a prophet of many prophecies. Would actually be sad to finish my edition of The Prophets, but I’m thinking to jump to the New Testament’s The Churches.
Listening to: Stars Go Dim, Mass Anthem, Neon Feathers and Tauren Wells. ARASHI 5×20 and I’m also crying?
Looking forward to: Getting a haircut.
Preparing for: Probably another month of drought, but God has gone before me, and I know July’s going to be rad.