There has never been a month where I was forced to not do things, and be grateful for it. Restraint is a skill I never learned to have, not until circumstances say so, and now, circumstances did. By the first two weeks, I promised myself a deprivation of cheap sweets—cookies and tidbits occasionally slathered with chocolate, which are also equivalent for my breakfast, and I’d nibble on them for hours and never eat proper food or exercise, which leads me to a high tendency of diabetes. Which nobody in this world liked. Two weeks, no sweets, with an unboxed chocolate chips in the fridge. The temptation was, “But it’s already opened, I got to finish that!” And the response was, “When you say you don’t, you don’t, whether whatever.”
Whether whatever reigned.
That was successful, and then, there was another, for by the third week, I got into an unexpected scrape when I decided to drain all my phone’s battery and charged it in the middle of a hot, dry afternoon. I thought it was a thing of no deal until it started to not open. It did, only when charged, and I have scoured all over the internet to find answers, and the only workable answer was one saying, “Leave it out, until the blue light is off.” The blue light was never off. Not until a week has passed.
Which, for the first time in the past four, mobile-addicted years, I had no phone.
It was, at first, a challenge to not pull my phone in the middle of the night to check what’s on Twitter, to draw on break times, to snap photos of the sky, and to just be connected whenever I wanted. The only working equipment, on my part, was a 2013 laptop and a 2012 iPod, which, I am glad to tell, has never given up on me, even after bumps and falls and resets. Some things choose to stay.
I was icky about having my phone fixed and was bent on waiting for the next battery drain, but two days before the month ends and I realized, “Ah, to heck with it.” A gadget was a gadget. A thing used when needed. And I am glad I didn’t need it as dearly as now, but I am hoping to get it fixed next month.
If not, that means something is new is meant for me.
Two weeks of no sweets, and now, two weeks of no phone. I think my mind and hands rested nicely, and I was able to do more productive things, like re-read my favorite novels and get inspired by them, finally query, then rework my MS’s voice, and finally be proud that something earnest was there. I haven’t gotten any responses from the previous ones, by the way, but I am actually thankful they didn’t get to read the trash.
Of course, I’m sure, by tomorrow, I’ll consider the new work “trash” too, but it’s a better garbage and more lovingly woven than the former, and for that, I am contented.
So, there goes my October, and a promise to make up in November, and much hopes to December, because I know good things are coming, and I am not putting names on them. Not yet.